Divorce and the Single Adult Program

LDS Divorce Support

When I was newly single, I recall when I first realized I was eligible to attend Single Adult activities--it was not a pleasant feeling!

I felt I was taking a step backwards in the church, having gone from a married-with-children status, to what I regarded as an inferior position as a single/divorced sister. I viewed the Single Adult Program as a consellation prize intended to formally categorize me in my new, demoted role.

Worse than that, I also considered the program a sort of "meat market" within the church that allowed the single members to gather regularly to shop for a potential marriage partner.

Because of my erroneous ideas about SA, I resisted attending activities for nearly two years. When I finally started going, it was mostly out of curiosity and boredom; I definitely didn't expect to enjoy myself.

It took me a few weeks before I was able to truly see what the SA program was meant to be for adult singles in the church: a place to grow, a place to meet others in similar situations, an opportunity to heal.

I remember the very moment I accepted the SA program as a gift from the Lord. I was at a SA dance and found myself without a dance partner or a girlfriend, in the moment, so I hoisted myself up onto the stage to sit and watch the others dance. I felt comfortable and at home...and suddenly it hit me! These people were my friends. I knew them because of our SA association; many of them were the most spiritually mature people I had ever met. I knew many of their stories and was familiar with how the Lord's hand was working in their lives. They were not alone without the Lord in their lives. I was not alone.

Not until this very night, as I blog, do I realize that I have never apologized to the Lord for my presumptuous and arrogant disposition. I was wrong in my perceptions about the very means the Lord intended to support His single adult church members.

SA may not be the answer to all divorce issues, but it can be a tremendous gift to grow and heal within the church.

If we only have the eyes to see.