I was reading an entry in my journal the other day written during my former divorce days. I felt a keen responsibility to my children to set a good example, as I wrote:
"So many thoughts, so many areas of concern. I never anticipated that someday I would be a single parent in a home where the full burden of setting a good example to my kids, of living the gospel, would be on my shoulders alone. I so much want to set a pattern they can follow.
"I want them to see me in church, paying my tithing, doing my visiting teaching, studying the scriptures, serving my fellow beings, praying...
"I want them to see me humble but courageous, submissive to the Lord but bold in my ambition, tender but strong, content but ever moving forward."
Wow! Reading that brought tears to my eyes. What a burden we carry as single parents!
Now ten years later, I have the benefit of 20/20 hindsight.
No, I wasn't 100% of what I wanted to be for my children during the course of my singlehood, but I was sincere in my desire to be as much as I could be for them; and I believe that is all that was necessary.
As adults, my children are sympathetic to what I endured as I finished raising them alone. They are able to forgive my foibles and give me more credit than I even deserve. They turned out awesome and I survived! We made it through the storm and are better for the struggle.
If you're where I was ten years, then take my advice: relax and enjoy the journey. You and your kids are going to be fine!
Comment
Comment by Isamar Aleman on November 23, 2011 at 10:22am I just went to your site. I love it. I sent you a message there. Thank you so much for your message below. Your words are inspiring!
Isamar, I'm so glad you found this post helpful. I have such a heart for our LDS single members.
You will be awesome in your calling as Relief Society president because your heart will constantly be drawn out in gratitude to the Lord for blessing you in such a way! Serving in this capacity, while single, will be one of the greatest blessings for you, and for your daughter, at this time of your life.
Have you seen my website SunnyDawn.com? I created it for singles, like yourself, to support them as they face the challenges of being LDS and divorced. If you go there and contact me through that website, I will send you a complimentary e-copy of my story, "Clicking on a Miracle" about when I was single. I think you'll find it fun, helpful, and encouraging.
Thank you for leaving your comment on this great Relief Society site! Take care.
Comment by Isamar Aleman on November 23, 2011 at 8:46am Thank you so much for this message. It truly touched my heart. I have been a single LDS parent of a 4 year old daughter for two years now and this message is very encouraging. I was recently called to serve as Relief Society President and I am so thankful for that calling in this time of my life. All I want to do is be the best example that I can be for my daughter and to serve the Lord. Thank you sister for your words.
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